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Parallel parking. It's called "parallel" for a reason. The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines "parallel" as "extending in the same direction...not meeting." See, a car parked parallel to the street (and that is how it should be parked unless there are street markings that signal otherwise) means that your car is parked next to the curb so that it is facing in the same direction as the street. So when your car has its front towards the curb and its ass out in the middle of the street, it's not parallel. And it's not right. Do you know why it's not right? I'll tell you why. Because it's supposed to be parallel! Because while my big fat ass is in its proper place, i.e. squeezed very attractively into a pair of stretchy (thank goodness) jeans, your car's big fat ass is obstructing the road and keeping people, such as myself, from getting to our very important destinations! MOVE THAT ASS...parallel!
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