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FIX THE ROADS IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD! Now! I am convinced that my car is experiencing abnormal wear and tear because these roads are in such poor condition. There are so many potholes and bumps and things in the road; it cannot possibly be good for my car. When I drive, it feels like I'm driving on cobblestones (without the charm of Europe). Or like I'm off-roading (without the adventure). Or like I'm driving on a giant English muffin (without getting any pleasure from the nooks and crannies). I was going to try to think up a cellulite metaphor, but then I just started grossing myself out. Seriously though, I pay taxes! Where is that money going to? It's probably going into paying for some stupid politicians' "conference" in Hawaii where all they do is play golf and have cocktail hour. Meanwhile, I'm left to hazard the urban jungle, dipping and bouncing all the way. When are people going to learn that it's all about me and what I want done?!
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